TMS – Round #4 – Day 32

Progress – without thinking about it!

I’ve been talking about the things going on at work that cause stress for me. And I noticed a change today. A change in ME.

I found out about yet another thing that added to the “WTF” factor. Since this has been an ongoing issue, you would think that it would have just added to the “ugh” factor. But here’s the thing – I didn’t react to it. Not like I would have before – or even a week ago. It made me look at it twice – and I wasn’t happy about it. BUT, the difference is it didn’t trigger my anxiety. I didn’t even have to “relax” and let it go – I simply didn’t react. I didn’t even realize that I didn’t react until hours later on my way to treatment. Not only did it not affect me beyond the moment, but I didn’t give it a second thought. No anxiety meds, nothing. That is impressive!

Dr. Debnath and I were talking about how treatment “strengthens” the brain, and that maybe by tapering treatment, it’s increasing my brain “muscle memory” in regards to what it’s supposed to do in response to TMS. Which is awesome – because if there is a way to keep my brain doing what it’s doing now, even longer – I’M IN!!!

Now tonight – the presidential debates are on TV. Before treatment, there is no way in hell I would have watched it. Politics has been a HUGE trigger. But tonight, I want to watch. And I have a plan. Watch it, but watch me too. If I get anxious, or triggered, I’ll go in the other room and remove myself from the situation. My husband can watch and I’ll do something else until it’s over. So I’m giving it a try – but with a safety net.

No treatment tomorrow. I go back Thursday, so I’ll update you all on my reaction to the debate, and progress in between, Thursday night.

Until then…………

KEEP FIGHTING & SHOW YOUR SCARS!!!!