Hi friends! My life is soooooo incredible!!! I’ve had revelations recently, as well as some really great experiences. I can’t wait to share it all with you!
My revelation is this: When you feel better, you “look” better. Let me explain………. I’m one of those people who has everything they’re feeling written across their face. I’ve never been able to “fake” the way I feel – ever. If I’m feeling it, whether I like it or not, it’s going to show. I didn’t realize until recently that when I was stressed out, anxious, or just generally not “good”, no matter how hard I tried to “smile”, the real me would show through. So, fast forward to NOW. I know I feel better – better than I have my entire life, that’s for sure! I’ve adjusted to the fact that I’m going to get irritated, or aggravated, and that’s normal. The difference being when something like that comes up, it’s temporary and very short lived. I just deal with the situation at hand and move on from it. Whereas before, every single thing that occurred stuck with me to the point that I was in such mental agony all of the time, I had to have had a look of horror or rage on my face 99.9% of the time. Here’s what I’ve noticed – my revelation, so to speak…….. I’ve gone out to two concerts in the last 3 weekends. Had a blast!! But I’ve noticed that I’m getting approached and spoken to a lot more than ever before. Keep in mind, I’ve always been friendly, and I talk to everyone. But now, I’m getting a different kind of attention. I’m not talking about being hit on by men – don’t get me wrong. I’m talking about anyone – men and women – feeling free to approach me. I’ve received compliments, had a lot of great conversations, and just feel like I’m more “approachable”. Which, I have to say, makes sense! I must look HAPPY! If I was always mentally anguished before, and it showed, not many people would be willing to take the chance to even look my way. Now, I’m happy, smiling, and genuinely having a great time – and it shows!! My point is this – you attract what you are, and what you feel. More importantly, you attract what you think you deserve. If you’re living in chaos in your head and heart, you will project that. If you’re living in peace and happiness, that’s what you will attract. I’m attracting the “good” I’ve always hoped for!!! From all angles!! Yet another gift of TMS that I never even considered. I’m telling ya – this treatment is the gift that keeps on giving!
I also have to mention, I’m a Christmas fanatic! I’ve always loved the music, decorations, lights, songs, movies – all of it. My fondest memories from childhood are Christmas’ spent with my Grandparents. As an adult, there have been many extremely difficult holiday seasons for me. I wanted more than anything to feel the season, but my depression ripped it right out of me on more than one occasion. For awhile, no matter how hard I tried, I would be more miserable than ever at Christmas because I wanted to be happy, so badly, and no matter what I did I was in a horrible place. This year, I’m enjoying every single second of it – best Christmas since being a kid. It FEELS different! Which I’m pretty sure is because everything in my life IS different. I’m so grateful!!
On another topic – I’ve decided that instead of starting to write my book in 2017, there is a much bigger issue that I am compelled to take on. I’m currently “at war” with Anthem Blue Cross because of the ridiculous prices they are trying to charge me for a medication that is not only generic, it’s been generic for about 10 years. There are so many more details and a lot more information about this, but I’m going to wait until after the holidays to get into that. It’s just way too much to start here, and I have so much to do! The bottom line is that I’m going to put all of my efforts, battle skills, and brain power into this because it’s so very important. Not just to me, but to millions of us out there that can’t afford their prescriptions and could die without them. Something has to change. Details in January – promise.
So………I mentioned being on TV, right? HA!!! Can you believe it??? I got a text from Tracy at the So Cal TMS Center yesterday, asking me if I would be willing to go on TV to talk about TMS. WOULD I????? HELL YES!!!!! You all know that my primary purpose is to bring mental illness to the forefront, and break the stigma. If talking about TMS and how it’s changed my life helps just one person – of course I’ll do it!!! I don’t know much yet, but I do know that I will be going in for a two hour interview on Tuesday, December 27th. As soon as I know the rest of the details (when, where, what???), I’ll let you know.
Gotta run! Still have things to do here tonight, but I wanted to make sure to check in. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and LOVE to you all!